I'm just focusing on my future and not the past. I want to get my strength back.. There will be light at the end of the tunnel if you keep positive.

Regret.ie, 01/02/2016

Let me start from the beginning. Basically I have been slowly deteriorating since I got my third Gardasil injection in third year (2011). Back then I would get extremely bad pain in my stomach when I would get my period and wouldn’t be able to stand up. I would always be tired and have little energy all day. I would have a nap after school every day and wouldn’t be able for training which was never like me, I was always active and loved my sport but ever since I got that last injection I was slowly going downhill.  

Now to April 2015, I was just sitting on my couch watching some TV as normal and I looked over my shoulder because I thought I heard something, and then I got a shooting pain in my back. It shot all the way up my spine and into my left arm, I could barely breathe and when I got up I couldn't stand up straight, I was hunched over. I was in excruciating pain and had no idea where it came from. I was rushed to this D Doc place and they had no idea what was wrong with me, they just assumed it was a muscle spasm and gave me some muscle cream for the pain. That night when I came home I was still in unbearable pain and prayed it would go away after a good night sleep. It never went away.

Over the next few months my symptoms got worse, I started having pain in my legs and was barely able to stand or walk properly, my dad would have to practically lift me up the stairs, started getting pain in my hands and couldn't write, pain in my eyes and could sometimes not see properly, pain in my chest which effected my breathing a lot etc. I had so much pain over the last year that I didn't know what to do with my life. I would get very tired and have to sleep till 3 or 4pm every day and even when I’d wake up I would still be tired. Sometimes even to this day I get really tired during the day and would have to take a nap because I can barely sleep at night.

I was going to a physiotherapist and he helped a bit by giving me some light exercises to do at home but someday I would be in too much pain to do anything. I’ve been to doctors, specialists etc. and they had no idea what was wrong with my body so they sent me for MRI scans, Blood tests, Ultrasounds etc, and all the results came back clear. At this stage I was just so overwhelmed and eventually broke down in tears. I just kept asking myself over and over again, why me? Do I deserve to go through all this pain? It was like breaking point for me. A few more months went by and it was time to go back to school. I went in for the first day and I got pain before the last class. My breathing was all over the place and my back gave out. I didn't know what to do and I was getting very anxious and stressed out. 

After that day I didn't go back for about 2 weeks I think and then when I eventually went back I got the same problem again. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. It’s just always a terrifying situation, not knowing when the pain will come on. I then went to another specialist in town and she told me I could have this thing called Hypermobility. At this stage I was so happy! I finally had a name for what was going on with me. After getting all the tests back 'clear', that was very frustrating and now I finally have some explanation. A while went by and after taking tablets to help me with my pain, it still didn't change. I thought I was on the road to recovery but I was sadly mistaken. I had something more than just hyper mobility - that was just one thing I had.

My dad got in touch with a man called Sean who owns a herbal medical clinic and my dad told him my story and Sean recommended me to an Arthritis Clinic. I was a bit apprehensive about going to this place as when I think of Arthritis I think of much older people having it. So anyways, I went and talked to this amazing Doctor and she was so understanding of my case and helped me so much. The treatment that I received was a dilute solution that helps treat people with rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis and others. The reason I got my treatment was this doctor wanted me to get tested for Fibromyalgia. She said that after the 3rd treatment she would stop putting the solution on my arm as that would mean it didn't work for me.

I was amazed that 2 days after getting the drop of solution on my arm that I had NO pain!! I had tears of joy and so did my parents too. I had an amazing 2 weeks and then a bad 2 weeks. When I went back for my next treatment I could see myself getting better but I was always very tired. I am now currently on my third treatment and this time round I have a lot of energy some days and tired some days, I’ve only gotten a bit of pain this month which is incredible. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I didn't get this treatment.

I’m still nowhere near 100% better but I can feel myself going in that direction. All my problems I feel has to do with the cervical cancer injection that I got in school because I’ve been talking to a lot of girls with the exact same symptoms as me and all of them were very sporty people and so was I. I had so much energy, was good in school, always wanted to train and play football and then I just started to slowly deteriorate and eventually got very bad in April. The girls that have gone through the same struggles as me have been so helpful, knowing that I’m not alone is amazing because throughout this last year I have lost so many friends, people just never coming to see me when I would be at home in pain 24/7, it was just a very lonely time for me.

I always have my families’ support which is amazing, don’t know what I would have done without them. Now I’m just focusing on my future and not the past. I want to get my strength back, do some courses, get a job etc. I know I'm going to have a great year this year and not let anyone bring me down. This is the main reason why I wanted to start a blog, to get away from all my worries and focus on something that I love to do :) I hope if some of you are experiencing similar problems that this will be a comfort and there will be light at the end of the tunnel if you keep positive.



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